So Kita Libertine,
How do you deal with a boyfriend you always have to clean up after?
Anytime you confront him, it turns to a quarrel. He compares you to your parents and says you should be happy cleaning up after him. It’s leaving me sick psychologically. He doesn’t help out at all…i.e.. garbage…
He’s a great cook though. He cooks sometimes.
Since the beginning of time, it’s been seen by society as the woman’s role to take care of all domestic matters while the man is out hunting.
But these days a lot of modern families are pitching in 50/50.
Sometimes it depends on the dynamics of the couple. If they both work then it’s only fair that they both share household chores. If the woman doesn’t work then usually she does most of the work.
Infact these days we have a new phenomenon called ‘househusbands’. That means that the man doesn’t work, he stays home and cleans and cooks and cares for the house while the wife is out working.
It all on the arrangement and terms of the relationship.
Some women are quite content to be stay at home mums and cook and clean all day. Some women relish this role and can’t do without it. It makes them feel useful.
Some men on the other hand don’t wish to be involved in any form of what resembles a domestic chore. And some women also loathe cooking and cleaning. It’s a matter of different strokes for different folks.
Whatever makes you both happy.
Now i’m guessing you’re not happy.
And you’re clearly not one of those Stepford wife types who likes to do it all.
So you need to take a stand especially as you mentioned it’s making you sick psychologically.
You’re clearly with one of those men who believes that it’s the woman’s duty to take care of all the household chores.
Which is not really surprising anyway as most men – at least 70% of men fall under this category.
Even the men who pitch and like to play domestic fall short more often than not, and still leave the bulk of it up to the woman.
Nevertheless, if your man’s case is worse than usual and he barely pitches in at all to a frustrating point, then you have no other option but to lay down an ultimatum.
He pitches in or you walk.
It’s the risk you have to take.
You have to be bold and say what you want or expect from a relationship or else you’re never gonna get it and you’ll keep dancing round in circles, jeopardising happiness.
There are some viral youtube videos that have been touching this very similar topic recently about girls acting like wives to their boyfriends even before they are married;
Doing all and sunder for the man and getting little or nothing in return – cooking, doing his laundry, picking up after him and so forth.
You’ve got to ask yourself.
What is your self worth?
How much do you love yourself?
If you don’t show yourself love, no one else will.
Are you really getting what you deserve?
Think about it carefully.
Deep down you know what to do.