Dear Kita Libertine,
Is it okay to play love games with men in order to make them fall In love with you and end up marrying you?
By love games I mean: pretend I’m busy when he calls, and pretend I don’t fancy him that much and to fake phone calls and make it seem as if many guys are chasing me and other similar games…
Yes! Cos men love the chase. They are hunters by nature. The mysticism is alluring and draws them closer. Knowing there is something that they want that seems unattainable makes them even more diligent. That’s why bad girls get the good guys. Cos they are masters at game playing. Plus when the man sees so many others vying for her attention he feels like Al Capone when she picks him.
That’s my 2 kobo.
- Pamela, 42, married, Lekki, Lagos.
It could be two ways.
Men likek competition. But one has to play it righ so you don’t get burnt.
By burnt I mean, chase him away cos some guys don’t like dat, that way, he may feel he’s dealing with a loose girl. You need to study the person involved and apply what works. You don’t apply the equation for different people. Some guys like the chase, some don’t.
- Christina, 36, married, Warri.
Hmmmn. The concept of love is viewed differently that’s why you will get diverse views on this. I’m of the opinion a lady shouldn’t fall cheaply but not to go about it in a taunting manner…I love feminine pride, it’s a turn on because I like to do a little chasing, but a woman should know when it’s too much and show a little green light every now and then.
- Chijoke,35, single, Apapa, Lagos.
It depends on the relationship btw the two. Some men are soft hearted and can easily fall for it cos they’re desperate and seeing that the lady knows his mind she takes advantage of him. Some guys play along with the ladies in that category and he ends up jilting them at the end cos they figure the woman was never into them, meanwhile she may have fallen for him. It’s a hot topic of discussion…my thoughts sha.
- Lady J, 40, married, California.
Not a good idea. It usually always ends up bad for the girl. The guy begins to build his defences and automatically zeros you out as ‘one of them’. If he does get married to you don’t blame him if he starts up a vendetta against your ass. If he’s a good guy, treat him thus. Good guys have this stigma that they never get the girl so it’s very easy turning your knight in Jedi drapes to the dark side. And when they do turn, you’ve officially succeeded in creating a monster.
- The big B, 34, married, Ketu, Lagos.
Absolutely no need. Even with the games, nothing is guaranteed.
- Charles, 37, single, Surulere, Lagos.
I don’t think it’s right jor, the guy will fall for you because of the chase but when he eventually has you and the chase is done, what next?
It’s just better to let things happen by themselves, working to get a man is too much work any how you look at it.
- Brenda, 27, married, Ajah, Lagos.
Lol. That’s what we guys call long thing.
Back in the days it could have worked.
Some still work today…yeah but for a guy that doesn’t have much to do…nowadays if you make a guy over chase…it gets tiring and if it’s a guy that just wants to have sex with you…it’s more dangerous because most guys believe in the saying; the harder you form, the harder you fall…so I’ll advice it’s best to let the guy know what your reaction would be and stop playing games.
- Gerald B. 37, Maryland, Lagos.
I’m not sure…I guess that could work. But then I wonder, what if he falls in love with the independent woman he has to chase down? What happens when he does propose? Does she fall in love and start behaving differently? Would he have fallen for a woman who doesn’t exist? I honestly don’t know.
- Wise chic, 43, married, AZ. USA
I don’t know if it’s ok. I just find it amusing.
- Dumbi, 40, single, Egbeda, Lagos.
In other words, it’s deception right?
- Chudi, 38, single, Lekki, Lagos.
Hmmm well, I wouldn’t be playing games with anyone cos to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. U might end up chasing the bloke away.
- Jeff, 42, single, Ikeja, Lagos.
Okay, that sounds very silly. A woman who knows her worth should not have the time for such silliness, a man that is meant for you would be, that which is not meant for you should not be forced.
When you meet the one you are meant to spend your life with, you would know.
Be decent, honest and God fearing and you would attract a decent honest and God fearing husband.
Don’t waste your time playing games that would probably end you in trouble when you are foun out, honesty is always the best policy.
- Princess, 44, married, London.