Dear Kita Libertine,
Why is it easier for men to cheat more in a relationship?
– The Big B
Answers according to opinion polls:
Cos they feel like they rule the world. It’s the ‘it’s a man’s world’ syndrome.,
We can do anything and get away with it cos God made us the head.
I once asked a cheating sonofabitch if his wife was aware he was such a cheat, he said hell no! She thinks i’m a saint.
I said what if she found out though, he said, she had once but forgave him and thinks he turned a new leaf since he’s been so careful.
So what if she cheats on you, I asked? He said with a very loud tone, it’s over if she does that, it’s her choice to forgive me, I don’t have to forgive her. I couldn’t stand it if she did.
So permit me to argue from both sides of my mouth.
Women condone such attitudes from men. We roll over and play dead. We encourage men to treat us that way.
Lastly, still contradicting myself, yet speaking to the prevailing circumstance, women, especially married women, cheat so much now that they might just take over the men.
– Pamela, 43, single, Lekki.
I think that from bible times, men are created to have a lot of women as wives and concubines. It must be in their dna to lust after women, and without self control that turns quickly into cheating on their partners.
Saying that, a strong willed man with the fear of God would think of the consequences, and implications of cheating and stick to their women.
But I guess most men allow their immediate urge to control their mind and take over the ability of self control.
Another thing is, if you really love your partner, no matter who stands in front of you, the love you have for your partner would not allow you to cheat on her.
Self control is the key.
– Princess, 44, married, UK.
This is the common belief. If I must play along, then it’s because of a combination of biological inclination and social situations.
Following our biological history, we can deduce that males of many species mostly tend to have sexual experiences with multiple females.
Looking at procreation as a functional exercise, the usually less in population males tend to sow the seeds amongst the more populated females. This could be wired to spread their seeds as much while women, due to their nurturing nature, have the instincts to seek stability, possibly to maintain or create a comfortable environment for child rearing.
I think it is a myth that men cheat more in relationships.
Women are getting more liberal social status as time goes.
Causing more women to risk dare to have sexual intercourse with other men.
Having multiple male sexual partners in today’s world is usually for economic reasons or increasingly, for recreational/emotional reasons.
– Arman, 36, married, Ikeja.
It’s their ability to see sex as a sport, to separate love and fun without feeling guilty.
– Bukky, 27, married, Ajah.
Women cheat just as much.
Just the definition of cheating is different.
For most women relationship I sealed emotionally.
For most men it is sealed physically.
Many women cheat emotionally just as men cheat physically.
Guess which one is more obvious and visible and guess which one can easily be denied?
Also women desire relationship fidelity more than men due to the fact that for most of their needs to be met emotional consent is required by the male.
Men don’t require the females consent for their needs to be met. Also men can buy their needs with money or favours and be done with it.
For women they believe it’s not bought.
Also men rule women emotionally and women rule physically.
Guess God has a sense of humour.
The easiest and clearest reference is in the bible. Genesis 3:16. The family unit is an emotional bond for women. For men it’s a physical bond.
I know. It sucks. Sucks not to be a dude. But hey, guys have a cross to carry also. Men have to ‘man up’. Just as tough. Only difference is that we don’t need women as much as they need us. Sucks I know.
Just like a man won’t feel used if a girl sleeps with him and dumps him. That’s girl problem. But both men and women feel cheated when they spend money and they get dumped.
We just ain’t that deep emotionally. It’s a bad thing in a way. Cause we never get emotional satisfaction like women do.
Then again, you can’t miss what you never had. So yeah, men are not as emotionally bound as women so having multiple sex partners is easy and women consider it cheating.
Same as a woman can feel different things for different guys and say ‘I don’t really know how I feel’
Both are cheating.
And both are equally permissible or condemnable.
Hope it explains from our perspective at least.
– Dele, 38, married, Aguda.
Simple answer: it is not!
Hahaha! The infidelity of women have brought down kingdoms and even brought kings and the most powerful to their knees… it’s not even debatable!
– Frank, 44, single, SA
This is quite simple to answer.
Men are raised by society to believe that it’s okay for a man to cheat and it’s wrong for a woman to cheat.
This philosophy is instilled in both men and women from birth.
We live in a society where it’s okay for men to cheat. In fact they even get pats on their backs and praises for it at times, whereas women get scorned and shunned if they do the same thing. This is one of the other reasons why they say it’s a man’s world.
Call it gender apartheid if you like.
Men like to believe that they are scientifically or biologically wired to desire more sex than women and this makes them feel less guilt when they sleep around. But this is Bulls***.
It’s more of a mental wiring. Men are mentally and psychologically wired to believe that sex is their territory and they can do as they like.
Both men and women have sexual desires. What you do with these urges is simply a matter of self control.
Women on the other hand are afraid of philandering because of the scorn and shame associated to women who have been caught doing such in the past.
There was even a time when the ‘scarlet letter’ was engraved on the heads of women who were adulterers or caught having sex out of wedlock.
So historically shameful is this ‘act’ upon women that they have been traumatised into accepting that it is indeed a man’s world.
A lot of women accept that men are allowed to cheat on them and they pass this belief unto their daughters too, thus enabling men to do so the more.
In most cases infidelity is tolerated by women but not by men.
However, it is important to note that the world is changing and even though men are still struggling for supremacy more and more women are breaking through in a some what ‘women’s lib’ frenzy that leads them to act on sexual impulses without restriction, boundaries or remorse.
It’s like a silent uprising.
Society doesn’t want to admit it yet, but it’s happening.
Women are turning the tables slowly but surely.
Women are beginning to boldly embrace their sexuality to the point of absurdity and extremity even, at times even surpassing the average philandering man.
It’s like a sudden rebellion against men and against all society has tried to make a woman out to be – The quintessential good woman. Homely. Child rearing. Cook happy. Gentle and obedient.
Well the scary thing for guys is that women are more adept at covering their tracks and hiding what they do.
Multiple sex partners for women is on the rise, sex toys, BDSM, the swinger life style and lots more.
It’s a two way street.
The good old obeisant days are over.
– Philosophical Meg, 39, married, TX