- Story by Michelle Stevens
The biggest problem I’ve encountered since I began working is linked to my financial success.
I quickly realised that people in society find it very hard to accept a lady who is financially successful, stable and independent.
I encountered a lot of such problems when I began climbing up the career ladder.
First I bought a condo – that turned a lot of heads, and second I bought myself a
The condo was bad enough – people started to talk behind my back, and then the car made things even worse.
I became the topic of conversation wherever I went and in fact, when I met people they would blatantly ask me, “Are you a basketball wife?”
They ask this absurd question because they see me dressing well, see me living in a condo, see me driving a Maserati and they automatically assume that a man must have financed it all for me.
I am a hard working girl. I have always been. I worked part time even when I was at the university and after graduation I got a good job at a health care industry in Atlanta USA, and my position steadily rose due to nothing but hard work on my part.
I don’t understand why people get so intimidated when they meet a lady who has managed to attain a little wealth of her own.
Aside from calling me a basket ball wife, I’ve been asked if I come from some prominent families and some people have down right made the ugly assumption that I must have slept with some men in order to attain wealth. Some even alleged that I was sleeping with my boss.
It’s so ridiculous.
Some women love to buy expensive shoes, some love designer clothes, but I love to buy cars. I’m crazy about cars. it’s one of my passions. It doesn’t mean that I have all the money in the world though.
For instance, a young man that I was dating a couple of years back didn’t buy a gift for me on my birthday. This hurt me, and when I asked him why he made this shocking statement to me:
“Michelle, what can I possibly buy for you that you will appreciate? For gods sake look at you. You have a condo, you drive a Maserati, what can I buy for you when you already have everything you need?”
I felt sad, because even if he had only bought a simple birthday card for me I would have been happy. I would have appreciated it. I love cards and I store all the cards that I’ve received from friends and well wishers over the years.
I also drove into a wedding venue once and I saw a group of ladies staring at my car as I drove by. Funny enough I was seated next to these same ladies at the wedding and to my astonishment they began to discuss me without knowing that I was sitting right there among them!
Their conversation went a little something like this:
“Did you see that young girl driving that flashy car?”
“God only knows who she might’ve slept with to get it.”
“The girl is obviously a corporate ho.”
“Excuse me ladies.” I cut in, “I’m the owner of the car.”
I went on, “I’m not a ho and I never had to sleep my way up. I’m a decent hard working girl. I have a good job, I’ve paid my dues. Don’t judge a book by the cover. It’s not fair. You never know.”
Well that’s my story and I know a lot of women out there who also experience similar issues when they begin to take off in their various careers and do well for themselves.
Some women find it hard to get a boyfriend as they become intimidating to a lot of men, and other women also give their fellow women a hard time too when they see they’re doing fine for themselves. A few callous men even prey on high earning women and think they can take advantage of them, use them to make it, and then dump them. All of this negativity needs to stop. This is the 21st century and enough women have good jobs and are financially gaining power these days.
If anyone reading this knows why a financially stable women pose such a big threat to so many people then I’d like to hear your comments.
As for me, I don’t understand this and I’m not sure I ever will in this advanced day and age where women are no longer content to just be someone’s wife.
We want to build something for ourselves too and not have to depend on a man for all our needs. Society doesn’t have to respond to our efforts by being so hard on us.
If you take money from a man they call you a ho, if you make money for yourself, they still call you a ho. It feels like both ways you can’t win in our society.