Driving a flashy car can cause problems for women

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  • Story by Michelle Stevens

The biggest problem I’ve encountered since I began working is linked to my financial success.

I quickly realised that people in society find it very hard to accept a lady who is financially successful, stable and independent.

I encountered a lot of such problems when I began climbing up the career ladder.

First I bought a condo – that turned a lot of heads, and second I bought myself a

Maserati.

The condo was bad enough – people started to talk behind my back, and then the car made things even worse.

I became the topic of conversation wherever I went and in fact, when I met people they would blatantly ask me, “Are you a basketball wife?”

They ask this absurd question because they see me dressing well, see me living in a condo, see me driving a Maserati and they automatically assume that a man must have financed it all for me.

I am a hard working girl. I have always been. I worked part time even when I was at the university and after graduation I got a good job at a health care industry in Atlanta USA, and my position steadily rose due to nothing but hard work on my part.

I don’t understand why people get so intimidated when they meet a lady who has managed to attain a little wealth of her own.

Aside from calling me a basket ball wife, I’ve been asked if I come from some prominent families and some people have down right made the ugly assumption that I must have slept with some men in order to attain wealth. Some even alleged that I was sleeping with my boss.

It’s so ridiculous.

Some women love to buy expensive shoes, some love designer clothes, but I love to buy cars. I’m crazy about cars. it’s one of my passions. It doesn’t mean that I have all the money in the world though.

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For instance, a young man that I was dating a couple of years back didn’t buy a gift for me on my birthday. This hurt me, and when I asked him why he made this shocking statement to me:

“Michelle, what can I possibly buy for you that you will appreciate? For gods sake look at you. You have a condo, you drive a Maserati, what can I buy for you when you already have everything you need?”

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I felt sad, because even if he had only bought a simple birthday card for me I would have been happy. I would have appreciated it. I love cards and I store all the cards that I’ve received from friends and well wishers over the years.

I also drove into a wedding venue once and I saw a group of ladies staring at my car as I drove by. Funny enough I was seated next to these same ladies at the wedding and to my astonishment they began to discuss me without knowing that I was sitting right there among them!

Their conversation went a little something like this:

“Did you see that young girl driving that flashy car?”

“God only knows who she might’ve slept with to get it.”

“The girl is obviously a corporate ho.”

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“Excuse me ladies.” I cut in, “I’m the owner of the car.”

Deafening silence.

I went on, “I’m not a ho and I never had to sleep my way up. I’m a decent hard working girl. I have a good job, I’ve paid my dues. Don’t judge a book by the cover. It’s not fair. You never know.”

Well that’s my story and I know a lot of women out there who also experience similar issues when they begin to take off in their various careers and do well for themselves.

Some women find it hard to get a boyfriend as they become intimidating to a lot of men, and other women also give their fellow women a hard time too when they see they’re doing fine for themselves. A few callous men even prey on high earning women and think they can take advantage of them, use them to make it, and then dump them. All of this negativity needs to stop. This is the 21st century and enough women have good jobs and are financially gaining power these days.

If anyone reading this knows why a financially stable women pose such a big threat to so many people then I’d like to hear your comments.

As for me, I don’t understand this and I’m not sure I ever will in this advanced day and age where women are no longer content to just be someone’s wife.

We want to build something for ourselves too and not have to depend on a man for all our needs. Society doesn’t have to respond to our efforts by being so hard on us.

If you take money from a man they call you a ho, if you make money for yourself, they still call you a ho. It feels like both ways you can’t win in our society.

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2 thoughts on “Driving a flashy car can cause problems for women

  1. Such a great post, I know an amazingly strong woman that went through the same thing & I fear I’m falling into the same cycle of social rejection because I obtain everything I’m after despite making stupid mistakes.

    I’m a young lady that doesn’t mind learning from my mistakes. Whenever people see me fail and bounce back, they assume my family is supporting me, whereas my own father accuses me of selling myself. I cried infront of family and friends just last night as he accused me of doing so to obtain a car that wasn’t even worth a dime. I bought the car with some of my school scholarship money & when it overheated, I let it go instead of stressing myself to fix it with more money than I even paid for it.

    It seems everyone (family included) in this world expects to see you struggle, sweat & beg for a handout before you can claim you did something good for yourself.

    Now I’m dealing with this along with being single & in a doctorates program which seems to scare guys off. I’m in my early 20’s & haven’t met one guy yet willing to support/love me as I further my education. I noticed that when I wasn’t doing anything but going out with friends, guys would be quick to want to date me & be consistent in communication. Now that I’m on my way accomplish my dream, it’s like I’m in a whole ‘nother world where I’m already married to school. Some even assume I’m already in a serious relationship b/c I “appear” to have myself together & im doing what most girls my age won’t do alone. Girls are even shocked that I’m single, but

    It’s crazy out here for us women… It really is. But I won’t give up or give in to the negativity. There are women that actually do things we are accused of and they are happy as hell being who they are, so why should I let the envy & ignorance of others block my happiness?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Queen Vic thanks so much for sharing your story with us.
    Two things make me real glad while reading your story, first the fact that you bounce back each time you fail, and secondly, the fact that you are so courageous, focused and determined despite all odds.
    If more women were as resilient as you were the world would be a different place. And that’s what this segment called ‘the office’ is really all about. It’s about women sharing the problems they face in the career world, (with a boss, with colleagues or even with friends, family, husband, boyfriend or loved ones) and how to overcome these problems.

    Keep being strong, and driven. You are definitely going to go places.
    Ignore all the hogwash.
    In the end the same people trying to bring you down will cringe when they see you succeed.
    I was once your age and also went through so much negativity/discouragement from society, but take solace in this fact – in the end, people will look up to you and reach out to you, even those who previously scorned you, when they realise you have ambitions and the ambitions are coming through for you.
    This positive thought should be enough to keep you going.
    Keep being true to yourself.
    About being single – trust me – it’s not about the men being intimidated by your goals and strength – it’s about the men themselves. The men who are intimidated by a woman’s strength are the ones not worth dating at all. So you should be thankful that they don’t stay in touch with you.
    A real man will admire your strength and support your goals and ambitions not be intimidated by them. He will be drawn to those amazing qualities shining through from you. It will add to his love for you. Be patient and this type of man will come along.
    Wish you the best.

    Do write to us if you or your friends have more stories to share so we can write about it as an individual post. Women need more of such forums in order to discuss and share.

    Like

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