Your friends won’t tell you the truth about this, but I will.
Rule number one:
Do not let a man treat you like a dish rag. Have some pride. Have some dignity. Know your self worth. Have some confidence. If you ain’t got none then go buy some or rent some. Seriously.
Rule number two:
Refer to rule number one.
Rule number three:
What rule number one said.
Now y’all wondering why rule number one is so important.
Let me break it down for you.
When a relationship is over and done with – all you can leave with is your pride.
Your dignity. Your self respect. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. It is the only thing that will keep you going after a break up. Or when a man does you wrong.
Let me count the ways in which you leave a relationship without any dignity.
- You let him walk all over you.
- You let him get away with murder.
- You let him take you for granted.
- You let him abuse you.
- You let him use you.
- You let him control you.
- You let him destroy your self esteem.
- You let him ruin your chances of meeting more respectful and responsible people.
- You let him believe that there was something wrong with you that you needed to change.
- You let him believe that he was perfect and you were unstable.
- Worst of all you let him know you loved him and were available for him whenever he felt like it.
- You let him know you never wanted to leave him no matter what he does to you.
I wish someone had given me this advice when I was growing up. (And for the record female friends give the worst and most biased relationship advice. Females lie to each other for various reasons and base most of their judgement on personal prejudices. And they act like they know what they’re talking about when they don’t even know a thing. Not all females, but most. Once in a blue moon you meet a wise female who knows her beans so well it’s like black magic.)
A little tip about men.
- Men are repelled by women who lack confidence. (They can sleep with you but they won’t stay with you.) When he bullies you or does you wrong, and you lick it all up and say ‘yes boss’. You make yourself a little smaller in his eyes each time. He will do it to you again and again just because he can.
- You know that myth about men hating strong women women who have opinions and say their mind, and don’t know their place and who don’t obey them? Well that’s exactly what it is – a myth to lure and trap women into slave and master roles. Men do love assertive women. They like women who can stand their own and who don’t really need them. They like women who can take charge but still give a man his due respect. They like women who know exactly what they want and go for it. They do like women with some ambition and with some passion in life. The days where women are just expected to wear aprons and come alive in only two rooms in the house (the bedroom and the kitchen) those days are over. Gone. Except for some backward countries and except for a few men that you wouldn’t want to know anyway.
- “Men don’t like it when you ask them to define their relationship status with you. This makes them pull away.” – This line in quotation marks is Worst myth off all. Girl, you need to define your relationship with the man in your life or else he is not the man in your life. You need to call him up on this and if he can’t give you a direct answer, then girl you need to move on with your life. He is not the one. The one will not shirk from calling you his girl. It’s best when you both know what you want from the beginning of the relationship. Define every phase of your relationship. Not dilly dallying down the line. Hoping and praying and wanting. If you want to hope and pray and want for the rest of your life then go to a convent.
- If a man does something to you that you don’t like – tell him. Don’t keep it in. You will find no joy in breeding resentment. If he doesn’t like it, then too bad. What? You are afraid he’ll say you’re nagging? Everybody nags! Men nag too. It’s human to nag. Every woman he meets will nag about one thing or the other anyway. A man who loves you will not leave you because you nag once in a while. (Don’t over do it though. Nothing in excess is nice)
- Don’t be afraid of a man leaving you. You need to be strong enough to let an ‘idiot’ go. Who’s an idiot? A man who treats you with not much respect, eats up all your love and gives you nothing in return. Allowing the fear of being single keep you from moving on with a good healthy life is the worst thing you can ever do to yourself.
- Forget about fine boys. Don’t search for the physical or material. Look more towards the inner soul and the deeper connections. These are the most important things in life. Looks fade. A good heart doesn’t. Good looks will not take care of you. A good man will. This is not to say that you should go for Shrek. Just don’t place so much emphasis on looks and material things. Or else you are not the girl I’m talking to.
Listen, when you respect yourself others will respect you. When you get a life, life will come to you. When you exude confidence, positivity will find it’s way to you.
This is not to say that you should be pompous and look down on others, no. That’s not at all what I mean. Just find the balance. Be yourself, be good. That’s all I’m saying but please don’t let men keep getting away with preying on women who are desperate to show that they are not clingy or aren’t looking to tie a man down.
That’s just fake. Cos you are and they know it. Everyone around you knows it. It shows.
Just take life easy as it comes one day at a time.
Fill your life with positive energy.
Know yourself worth.
Be positive about yourself and about the men that come into your life.
Be sure of yourself. Believe in yourself. Carry yourself with dignity.
If the relationship ends, it ends and you move on with your dignity intact and no hard feelings.
If a relationship moves onto the next level, all the better for you and you remain in a relationship of mutual respect.
Harsh words but the truth. And you know what they say about the truth.
It will set you free.
Debunk the myths.